Well at least not everyone feels that way,

Dear Poppy,
You bring so much joy into my life

Joy- as in suffering, work, fun, pleasantness, chaos, and peace all rolled up into one life with you equating to happiness

Not everybody feels this way about motherhood, or life in general, but you should know that life is about duality, its the bitterness in life that makes the sweet moments sweeter. 

Life is hard, and the only way to make life easy, is to not expect it to be so

Embrace challenge in your life, don't try to avoid it-that's a fruitless effort anyway. Challenges help you to grow. Our first parents left idyllic paradise in favor of a dreary wilderness so that they might obtain true happiness. And it's the same with life.

So mold your paradigm and your own perspectives so that when you are up in the wee small hours of the morning with your little one, you'll stop looking up random things on wikipedia, wishing you could go back to sleep. At that moment, look down into your child's eyes and remember that everyone laments not cherishing their children why they have them-- and then you should cherish the one in your arms.

Learn to give a prayer of thanks and feel gratitude for a physical body, even when it's sick or disabled in some way. Learn to remember how much you love someone, and how much they love you even when they don't show it. Learn cherish the hard times for how they help illuminate the good times.

Happiness occurs only when you decide to be happy

Ich liebe dich, kleines Mädchen,

it all comes out in the wash

After last night, I came to the consideration that perhaps Poppy (not her actual name-just a nickname I use for her on the internet) would sleep better in her own space and not our room. I think we might by waking her up throughout the night. Not fully trusting my own intuition, I went online to google search "when to put baby in own room". There was a myriad of blog posts: co-sleep is the best, sleeping in nursery is the best, sleeping in same room is the best, --no really sharing the bed works great, --no sleeping in their own room works great, and on and on. Finally I came to my senses and said "It doesn't really matter!". So long as you meet your child's emotional needs in the day time--I'll bet they won't develop any lasting psychological issues in the night based on sleep location.

It reminds me of a few weeks back, and the debate over taking Poppy out for walks in the stroller. My Mummykins is half-German, half deep rooted Southern girl--she advised that in Germany they take their kids out all the time--the cold air is good for the lungs. My mother in law is full Panamanian and has lived mostly on the western part of the USA. She was adamant that the cold air would cause health problems for Poppy and that Poppy would have difficulty breathing while the wind was blowing.

Such polar opinions--which one was right?-- well they raise perfectly healthy children  by both methods, so it must not really matter.

All psychology should be taken with a grain of salt--this from a psychology minor. If their is one thing I learned from all my education in psychology is that their are in innumerable variables to the human mind and existence, and that, outside of gospel principles, there are no blanket solutions especially ones as specific as ones related to child-rearing.

Gospel principles such as loving our families, staying morally clean, following the word of wisdom, are broad enough in their explanation so they can be adapted to the needs of each individual situation.

If a loving parent who co-sleeps with their child will probably have a just as healthy and well adjusted child as one who sleeps in their own crib or their own room--it's not that something as mundane as sleeping arrangement has much call on the child's overall sense of well being--it's that the parents genuinely love their children and see to their child's individual needs.

I sense that Poppy may sleep better if mom and dad aren't in the room, because she's napped very well that way. However, my next child might be the exact opposite. Since I love my child I will not just repeat what I did for Poppy, but adapt to that child's needs.

I've hear many arguments for and against pacifiers, or "babywearing" over "babycarrying"--again the same rule of trying to be in tune with what your baby needs applies. My friend Anna, to the best of my knowledge, never gave her children pacifiers, stating that you need to see to the needs of your child and not just plug up their mouths. This seemed logical to me, so I decided we'd forgo the paci. Another friend noted that sometimes babies just want something to suckle on and that it helped them feel comfortable

Shortly after Poppy was born they wheeled her into our hospital room and there she was happily sucking a pacifier. It's easier to wean a child off a pacifier than their own thumb by the way, so I decided to take the pacifier home with us rather than chuck it.

95% of the time I give Poppy the paci when I think that's all she wants or if it will help soothe her, or during time I can't immediately feed her--such is on the road in nowhereville Wyoming 15 min from our next pit stop.

As for wearing Poppy in a sling or keeping her in her carrier. Sometimes she wants to be held close, sometimes she's happily snoozing in her carrier, which will rock like a rocking chair easily--and this baby likes to be rocked!

So we play it by ear, and don;t have such specific absolutes.

My brother was a formula fed baby, husky 8 year old, and football playing teenager. My husband was a formula fed baby, husky 8 year old, and football playing teenager---they are entirely different people.

healthy development has so much more to do with broader issues than pacifiers or slings, or sleeping accomodation

Hospital Update #1

Well I'm here at the hospital to have a BABY! Last night, Poppyseed wasn't moving much and didn't move at all this morning. Since I had a dr's appt today, I just decided to go in a little early. They monitored her heart beat and movements. She moved a little after being hooked up. When Dr. L came in he simply said "Why don't we just have the baby today". There was nothing really wrong with her, but he said there really was no benefit to her staying there longer, incase her lack of movement might be something wrong. So he scheduled an inducement at 2 today. I'm up to 7ml of pitocin an hour now. and my contractions go to the top of the chart but they don't hurt and I haven't been checked yet to see if I'm dilating anymore. I can feel tension in my lower back, but my real complaint is--and you won't be really surprised by this considering my "lineage"--- I want to eat. I'm hungry and I only get to have jello. 

Taking it easy...

...that's a new style for me, but change can be good. Earlier, before the semester started, I had made up a jam packed schedule of things I wanted to do before the baby came, but by the end of week 2 I was exhausted. I remembered the words of President Uchtdorf's talk to slow down and simplify and knew this was something I needed to follow. So now we've nixed the thorough scrub down fall cleaning I had planned for a more manageable 1 hour a day cleaning--that equates to ten minutes in each room and 20 min on a day chore like ironing or mopping the floor. My aim is progression not completion so if the room isnt spotless, at least its cleaner and you'd be surprised how much you can do in ten minutes.
Speaking of 10, that's how many hours of sleep I get each night (odd bc before I got pregnant I could easily power through the day with 5 hours of sleep and lots of water) But I found that those extra 2 hours dosing while Mr Baker is up and getting ready for work make all the difference in my body not feeling very spent and exhausted towards the end of the day.
Achy joints...there used to be a little voice in my head while in the shower reminding me not to linger too long, there were things to do--not anymore. I blast that hot water for all its worth onto my sore neck for about 20 min to 30 min and that does the trick. I know even without feeling major back pain that my body is overdue for a massage, but I'm leaving off consulting the Bakery's change jar until after the Poppyseed comes. Until then I'm making the best of the fact that the Hart Building's pool is heated swimming my laps doing my funny little frog kicks from fitpregnancy .
Ahh the joys of dinner. I love food, but dinner can often be a chore for American women "I'm tired and dinner needs to be ready in 30 min....ramen/peanut butter sandwiches/order pizza, sounds good I don't feel like cooking"---sound familiar. I try to avoid this by thinking about what I'd like to eat during the day or by simply kicking off my shoes when I get home at 4:30 and perusing a cookbook or cooking website for a few minutes until I find something I'd actually love to eat, not just what I can make. I find this makes a huge difference. Unwinding for just a little bit and then finding something that makes you want to cook rather than feeling forced to cook. I also like to shop the international section of allrecipes, when I find something I like, I flip over to pandora and find a music station playing music from the country of origin we're eating from. French : Edith Piaf, Italian: Pavoratti, American: Miles Davis-- you get the idea. This adds atmosphere to the kitchen making dinner becomes more an unwind than an ardous task. And international doesnt= complicated, the other night we had chedder bruschetta, a Mediterranean dish--basically three types of cheeses pureed with tomatoes and spread over bread, then baked in the oven for 10 minutes--do you know what that is?--it's cheese toast that took 30 min instead of 3 and is a little healthier because a vegetable went with it. EASY.
Speaking of atmosphere--do you know what a white linen cloth and lighting a few candles on a set table can do for dinner time?--You actually sit down and enjoy it and relax rather than hurriedly scarf down what you just made standing be the fridge in the kitchen. oh it's nice. Home comforts like that are well worth the little effort they take.
I'm glad that this last month of my pregnancy I have time to relax, because taking care of Poppyseed will be quite the change, but not impossible. I'm already used to waking up every couple of hours needing to go to the bathroom and eat something, that's been the schedule for the past 6 months--my body is already prepped for feedings every 2 or so hours. And hopefully I can set my alarm so I'll wake up before Poppyseed does for her next feeding. We're also making a temporary switch over to paper and plastic dinnerware--just to make things easier that first month or so.
I know that caring for a newborn is demanding but I'm not freaking out over it because I've already set it in my mind that I'm not going to try to work Poppyseed into my life, I'm going to work my life around Poppyseed. My goals will be to see that she is fed and clean, and then I'll do what I can in the time I have left.   If it means I can't keep up with my artwork, I'll set it aside for a couple of months that's fine, if ten minute cleanings turn into five minute cleanings, it is ok. If I have to drop my german class and push back graduation to July and grad school til August, there is no shame in that (though I doubt it will get that bad unless something goes medically amiss). Perfect is doing my best and having my priorities straight. We don't have to do everything we want to do in our lives by the time we're 30--there's a lot of life to live. I have two goals right now enjoy and take care of my little family and get through my education. That is the season of life I am in and if I can get the other things done now, wonderful, but I'm not going to feel any less accomplished for not doing the extras. What is most important is Mr. Baker and Poppyseed, even my grad school education is because of and for them--my family will be so much the better for having a wife and mother with a master's degree than without.

Pregnancy Update.

Well here we are sitting pretty at 35 Weeks and I think Poppyseed has dropped because I don't feel in my ribcage as much and my lower back feels a little tweaked more than usual. However, I would gladly pick the lower back pain over having her in my ribcage because the back pain is so much easier for me to alleviate and prevent and I'll tell you why:

Apparently a lot of the aches and pains of the last trimester are the result of poor posture and our culture's more sedentary lifestyle as compared to how women lived throughout history. Changing ones lifestyle from sedentary to active during the last few months of pregnancy has its challenges, but correcting posture should be easier, but it takes effort and discipline. (I'm so glad I took up Ballroom Dancing when I came to college). As some may know, posture has not been my friend for most of my life. When I was in middle school I had a mild form of scoliosis that was corrected after wearing an easily concealed back brace for a year. Nevertheless good posture remained a foreign thing to me. When I came to college I learned techniques for putting myself in better posture from ballroom dancing classes and workshops. There I learned a particularly helpful tip of how to "walk underneath your body"

This way of walking is very helpful to pregnant women as it keeps you from "waddling" which causes a lot of the bodily aches women suffer from in their last months of pregnancy. Instead of waddling, when you stand or walk tuck your bum in so that your pelvis faces forward more (this is half the battle of having good posture by the way). Keep your bum tucked in as much as possible--this takes work but you get used to it more. If you have lower back pain, try tucking in and see if that does not alleviate the pain--most often it will. Next when you're walking, keep your legs underneath you by keep them close together so that your thighs and knees just brush each other and take smaller steps. Also concentrate on putting the heel down first. This is a much more graceful way to walk and it's better on your body. The next time you're out and about you might notice how people walk, most people have: a wide stance, take large steps, bums jutting out, and just general "lumbering" around. (I've noticed this particularly in women my age wearing high heels).

Other than that pregnancy is pregnancy, but not miserable. Braxton hicks contractions mixed with acid reflux are no picnic, but I bought some TUMS the other day at the store, and my body immediately--true to form--decides to mellow out the moment I spend money on it. I'm still able to get a good night's sleep mingled with 3-4 bathroom breaks in the night--but that's been standard practice the past 8 months so no complaints there.  And now I have little bit of swelling, but no stretchmarks (thank you genetics!). Sadly I surpassed my weigh gain limit of 25 lbs weighing 28lbs heavier than prepregnancy me at my last check up (sweets have become ever so much more irresistible now), but that was right before I started my semester at school and I've done a lot more walking since then so hopefully that will balance out.

Yes I am school taking a wopping 5.5 credits, German (4), Art Seminar (.5), and FA 100 (1). A couple of my art history teachers have encouraged me to come and sit in on a couple of their classes when I am able--and I try to be able as possible because I really enjoy it.

So I cannot complain, I do get tired of lugging a belly around but hey it's called PREGNANCY and besides that life was never meant to be the Garden of Eden so I'll take my little inconveniences over what I've heard other women go through any day.

Es schmeckt mir gut!

The other day my German professor, Herr Green, asked us what we would like to do if we travelled to Germany. My answer, without the slightest hint of a joke, was "Ich mochte essen" (I would like to eat) -- Where would you want to go? "der Backerei" (the bakery--I couldn't have married into a more approriate name than "Mrs Baker")For some reason this was an odd answer. Then again most of the students had been to der Vaterland and had cities, sites, and people they'd like to visit, but still I am perplexed at why they would think "eating" was a strange answer for what one would want to do in Germany. HELLO PEOPLE--you're in GER-MA-NY!--the alps will still be there, but a that roastbeef sandwich with provolone, sauerkraut, adn horseradish sauce served hot on fresh rye bread isn't going to stay hot forever. Germany is known for its bread, cheese, chocolate, and pastries, America isn't and so I want to see what I've been missing out on.
Disclaimer: this is not a pregnancy post--I just love good food. Anybody who has eaten at my mother's house can understand why. Ever since I was a teenager, my tastes have been more inclined to the european. Sometime during highschool a marvelous place called "the fresh market" opened up--a grocery store featuring imports, organic, or quality American brands--my mother and I were soon making regular pilgramages. I would often get a a french bagette and some rich, sharp chedder cheese for lunch and of course we had to buy the bavarian pretzel sticks with some truly divine European butter. Oh it was all so good. I hope one day I can go to anywhere in europe and gorge on the real deal. For now I do my best to bring a slice of foreign living into our "Little House in the Tundra" by keeping the international section of allrecipes.com on my favorites list and making homemade french bread as much as possible. (This month has been hectic so we've been forced to buy store bread --neither Mr Baker, nor I like this very much, fresh homemade bread being both our preference. (I will tell you, when you learn how to properly make wheat bread --not over kneading it, or adding too much flour, and sweetening it with honey rather than sugar--it DOES taste better than white bread.

Perhaps I'm the only one in the class from the South, or perhaps they are all gentiles, and unGermanized of heart, but for some strange reason they would rather go "site-seeing"--yeah I'll do that too, but it will be with a pastry in one hand and a sparkling lemonade in the other, (and a lot of chocolate in my bag)

ps Dear Mom, I have tried to make spaetzle several times but I can't get it right, it turns out rather soggy and in pellets rather than in noodles. Do you know why or could you ask Oma.

Hurricane Ice-cRENE

Since Mr Baker and I are missing out on all the action my folks are experiencing back in Dixie Land, we had the bright idea to make home-made blizzards--or shall we call them "Hurricanes?= yes.
Take some scoops of vanilla ice cream, add my mom's recipe for sop chocolate

and an undisclosed amount of chopped up funsize 3 musketeers

blend all in the blender and then have your husband turn off all the lights to simulate the next 2 weeks of no power  because your street is one of the last ones Dominion Power will get to. And then when your husband turns back on the lights, blender is magically empty

Ooops! I guess the wind just knocked it all into my mouth.

Just kidding, I did share with Mr Baker.

It was sooooo good!!!! Definitely worth the awkward side stretches I had to do in the middle of Wal-mart to relieve the pain under my ribs while Mr Baker consults whether the 24 bag of funsize 3 musketeers is really .03 cents cheaper per ounce than the 8 pack sleeve--but eventually he realized I was just trying to pull a sly one so I could have the leftovers, which he thanks is cute and therefore will by the 24 pack. the checking to see the difference in .03 cents per ounce was one of those moments I had to do a double take to make sure I went to the store with my HUSBAND and not my DAD. It was right up there with the Bill Cosby videos, the messy desk and ...well I can't remember the rest, I'm pregnant and my brain doesn't remember everything--which reminds me I need to write a post about how pregnancy is really a preparation for old age (you just get used to going to bed and knowing that when you wake up there will be something that you could do yesterday but cannot do today) ;)

Here you go Ma! 31 weeks and 20lbs later

Here's another pregnancy pic:

I've had a few friends who've gained 30-50 lbs and had 7lb babies. Watch it be that, after all my work to keep from gaining too much weight that I'll give birth to 10lb-er ;)

This info from webmd.com explains where all the weight goes to:

Baby.... 8lbs

Placenta 2-3 lbs

Aminotic fluid 2-3 lbs

Breast tissue 2-3 lbs

Blood supply 4 lbs

Fat stores for delivery and breast feeding 5-9 lbs (I had fat stores before I got pregnant, why do I need more, and why do I need it for delivery--all I need is someone to catch her when she comes out)

Uterus increase 2-5 lbs

                  Totals to 25- 35 pounds

So using percentages I can deduce that at 20 lbs statistically my weight spread would currently be:

Baby 6 lbs 4 ounces

Placenta 1.6 lbs

Aminotic fluid 1.6 lbs

Breast tissue 1.6 lbs 

Blood supply 3.2 lbs

Fat Stores 4lbs

Uterus increase 1.6 lbs

At 31 weeks Poppyseed is it keeping close to home (home being synonym for my rib cage). At any given moment at my house you can see me stretching like this, either left or right: 

I ran into my friend Erica's husband today and he commented that I was carrying high. He and his wife had their baby girl just 11 days ago (and she was one of the most beautiful newborns I had ever seen). Poor Erica carried all in front and low, but as large as that might have made her feel I bet she didn't have as much of time dealing with a baby whom is dying to get to the playground and has mistaken your ribcage for the monkey bars. ( note to Poppyseed: although Smith Park is north of our house, you're going to have to head south to get there, schatze) 

There's pros and cons to however the kids want to "hang out" during pregnancy, and I'm not complaining about the cons in mine--or anything else with pregnancy from now on. I learned a couple days ago that one of my friends, who was due in September (when you get pregnant, you tend to acquire a lot of other pregnant friends too), lost her baby last week at her baby shower. Apparently the umbilical cord got wrapped around his neck in strangled him in the womb.

This all happened just a couple days before her sister's wedding--and that was a tender mercy since it meant that all her family was in town to comfort and support her.

I acknowledge the possibility of such things happening to my little Poppyseed, but I'm not letting myself worry over it--there's no point in that. I know though that whatever happens, if it is bad, that Heavenly Father has promised that in the end all our losses will be made up when we follow His commandments. That gives me a great deal of comfort.

The more we learn about the universe...

I was watching this video today



And while watching it, I have watched it a few times before, my mind wandered a little. It's very easy for  this scientist to go to work and see the Hand of God  through his work, so I thought to myself, "Why don't I realize God's handiwork in my couch? (and you might reply: because it's so ugly) " I thought , "I know it once was all raw materials which came from nature which originates from God, but something in the fact that the the hand of man came in and manufactured my couch removes the context by which I more readily see Heavenly Father's impact on it. I wonder at the life of Adam and Eve and those generations that lived so primitively and the civilizations that followed them and wonder if they didn't have an easier time believing in a Divine Creator because they lived in a world more dictated by the ebb and flow of nature.
Someone was once said something to the effect that: we criticize people who lived 500 years ago for being so gullible that all a priest had to do was say "Thus saith the Lord" and they believed it. However we don't recognize that we are just as gullible because all a news anchor has to do is say "Thus saith Science" and we believe it
And I wonder if the reason so many people believe less in God and more into science has to do more with lifestyle shift than any advance in human intelligence. We now live in a very mechanical and material world whereas before people lived in a more natural one. You don't see the hand of God as readily in a rocking chair you purchased from Anthropologie as you do a rocking chair you fashioned and built from the tree you yourself chopped down in the forest. The context of ones daily life 3 or more steps removed from God and that was not always so.

I think most of us take for granted our own ignorance of the bigger picture of things--and I'm not just talking about in terms of spirituality or religion, I'm talking about science, here. When Dr. Lewis, in the video, talks about the immensity of the universe and how incapable we are of comprehending all of it, I'm led to compare it to the human mind. Psychology gets a lot of grief for not being a "hard science" but that is because the field is still in its infancy and because just one persons brain is as immense in its variables and possibilities as the universe is.

The general public most often doesn't get beyond a surface level understanding of science and psychology. It's what we vaguely remember from our classes in high school or college, or what see on msn.com or some trendy book we find at Barnes and Noble and is therefore on skin deep or superficial and we don't really question it or think it through. Hundreds of years ago everyone believed that the earth was flat and the body was ruled by the balance of four liquids or humours because it made sense to them, but since then we have learned otherwise. However, people still buy into what "makes sense" to them especially if it is explained to them by an authoritative figure. A lot of people believe in theories like "The Color Code" or "5 Love Languages" but these are only skin deep observations of the human personality and they are very limiting in their understanding.

The more I learn about the human mind the more I come to understand the impossibility of defining it in such narrow and concrete terms. How much do I only dwell on the skin of my thoughts and mind and how little do I actually get down to the bones of who I am and truly understanding myself--and it is in recognizing that incompetency on my part that leads me to believe that there is a High Power, there is a Heavenly Father that created me and there is veil between my puny powers of mortal recognition and the eternal perspective. Just as the more we learn about the universe we realize more both 1) how limitless are the number of things we don't know and 2) how impossible it is for us to understand them, so it goes with the mind and we gain a sense of the eternal. It is these moments that I recognize my own ignorance that persuade me to trust more in Heavenly Father's understanding of who I am, what I am capable of doing, what I need to go through to get there than what I think I know.

That's why I believe that we shouldn't rely so heavily on therapists, or friends, or Doctors, or Bishops, or parents, or popular books, or medications, or chocolate to solve the all these problems we think we have--because they don't have all the answers. They can help but too often we lean on that rather than rely on prayer and revelation--that personal relationship with Heavenly Father. We deprive ourselves of that experience and growth in faith because it's so much easier to physically talk to another human being than to search out within ourselves by the guidance of the Holy Ghost.

A person might go to a therapist/friend/Doctor/etc... and lament "I'm just not happy right now, can you make me life pleasant, because it's not right now and I don't like that". But a simple study of the doctrines of the gospel, with the personal witness of the Holy Ghost would testify to that person that life is not meant to always be pleasant, and it is through the balance of easy and hard times in our lives that we grow and find true joy and happiness. Then as a person exercises faith in this doctrine and trusts in Heavenly Father that doctrine is then proven to them by experience.

The more "learned" I become the more I realize that the answers to life's questions are all answered through those "primary answers" of scripture study, prayer, personal revelation, and attending Sacrament Meeting.

Hey Mom, can you repeat that last bit about saran wrapping your friend's car....

They say that infants can hear you in the womb.
In this case, don't talk about your pranks when you were a teenager and single college student

Maybe I'll be assigned to help in young women's during her girls camp years, and then we can go tp-ing the Young Women's President's car together :)

She might take after you and decide that it would be oh such fun to not move a muscle for 2 hours the morning you wake up to simultaneously experience steady Braxton Hicks contractions and cramps from gas, giving you a little scare.

Then she'll wait until just the moment you sit down in the Doctor's waiting room to announce "just kidding" here's a good little kick.  Silly little poppyseed.

At least I got to hear her heart beat: a steady 139 beats per minute.

The nurse, Kathy, was kind enough to measure my stomach at my request (they forgot last time) and I'm measuring 30 weeks right on the dot-- "Model patient today" quoth the nurse.

Proud of my little prankster poppyseed

7 months on Tuesday

Andrew snagged this one while I was trying (in vain) to give more volume to my hair

Have I mentioned how much I don't like posing for pregnancy pictures?

They make me look tired and I'm not, and my face isn't swollen, and I promise that when I look in the mirror my hair is a lot cuter. ....But then I've ALWAYS felt that way about pictures of me without pregnancy. Perhaps everybody says to themselves when they look at pictures of them, "that is not the face or body I woke up with today."

So it took a while (and a few wardrobe changes) before I got one that satisfied me.
Looking back (as Andrew took this photo a few days ago) it probably would have been easier to get a decent preg-go pic if I hadn't been in a very pouty mood earlier that day. We don't need to go into details here, but we all know that there are days when you run into the harder realities of life. They are not pleasant, but they're not trials either--at least they don't have to be, with the right attitude. In my opinion they're actually very few things in life that really count as trials. There are just certain circumstances in life and if we should accept them and be grateful for what we have in our lives. The other day I wasn't doing that, I was just focusing on how I wasn't getting something I wanted. And even though it was a very worthy "want", nothing superficial or only beneficial to moi, there was no reason to feel so sorry for myself. I was sitting in the living room sorting laundry when it hit that I was being very ungrateful and selfish. I was inside a comfortable and reasonably priced apartment--residing in a terrific community. I was surrounded by a room full of furniture, although not the cutest or most elegant, I did not have to pay one cent for. Inside my bedroom there is a crib filled to the brim with baby clothes to be sorted, and a few boxes more besides, that had all been given to me. I have a wonderful husband and family and countless other blessings--so what right did I have to complain if some plans for the future weren't going my way? It was a very humbling moment not only for that but because just that morning I had been thanking my Heavenly Father for the manifold of blessings with which he has bestowed on us and asking Him how I could show more gratitude to Him for them.
Did I mention that Disney songs on Pandora are surprisingly apropos at these meetings with reality--eventually  you come to the realization that this is all just a part of the circle of life, and that just around the river bend there will be happier moments so when the less joyous ones are upon you, you say to yourself, "hakuna matata" and get on with life. It also helps that your wonderful husband will forget himself and the feelings you might have injured in a moment when you were less than who you ought to be, and do his best to cheer you up--even if it means slow dancing to "I'll Make a Man Out of You" (from Mulan) in the Laundry room--some how that just works, don't ask me why. Nope, no matter how many bad pictures or disappointed hopes and plans come my way--I cannot deny that my life is very blessed and that I have every reason to be happy.

Somewhere Bro. Clark is cringing over the photographic talent and training I am squandering in this pic

The clothes line of baby clothes is our storage solution... until she's about 3 or 4 months, then we have to look into other options--but this was penniless and painless and will make changing her clothes and putting away Poppyseed's laundry a lot easier. There really is no satisfying way to fold infant clothes.

Mrs. Baker, Tschuss!

It's beginning to look a lot like planning....

I don't know why, but already I'm thinking about what kind of things Mr Baker and I will do for Christmases with our kids...even though Christmas is 5 months away, and Christmas with KIDS (not infants) is at least 4 years away

(I think my 2 favorite things about this movie are the crescendoing chorus of Mormon Tabernacle Choir and the Dad helping retrieve the Baby Jesus for the daughter. It reminds me so much of my first memory of my Dad. I had those candy bracelet and necklaces, but they were on the counter in the kitchen --this was before my brothers were born so I was at least 4-- I was just a little too short to reach them. Then all of a sudden, my giant of a dad was there next to me. He picked up the candy necklace and bracelet, put them around my neck and wrist, respectfully, and then I said thank you and scurried. It's a favorite memory of mine)

Christmases for the Baker family are going to be humble affairs for most of our kids lives--but not pitiful. Stemming from the fact that we neither want nor will have the means of providing massive gift giving extravaganzas, Mr Baker and I want to have Christmas traditions in our family that will make it more a fun time to be together rather than the "how much of my wish list did Mom and Dad deliver"

My younger brothers and I would stay up Christmas Eve watching Disney movies. And there was the Christmas Eve dinner of Spaetzle, lentils, brats, and German potato salad. Oma had her Christmas Pyramids from Germany, which I loved. Oma would also take me to see the Nutcracker Ballet whenever she could--would remains one of my absolute favorite Christmas gifts of all time. We most often had a live Christmas tree and Mom would take some of the trimmed branches and light a few sprigs just enough to spread the scent of pine throughout the house. She did it because Oma did it when my mom was a little girl, and Oma did it because it reminded her of the candles they let on their Christmas trees in Germany when Oma was a little girl.  And then of course their is steak and eggs and sop chocolate for breakfast Christmas morning.  And of course we read the Christmas Story on Christmas Eve

     Some of these family traditions, although treasured, are out of our price range (IE steak and shrimp cocktail, Nutcracker ballet, live Christmas tree ... bummer) But we can keep up some of them: German food for Christmas Eve, Sop chocolate Christmas morning and I 'm sure I could scrounge a pine branch from somewhere.
            My mom's best friend Margaret's family acts out the Nativity every year. I saw a picture of one they did a couple years ago and with the advent of grandkids as well as their own grown up children--it has become quite an epic show. So that is something Mr Baker and I will consider doing when we've got a few children running around.
         Some other ideas I had were, instead of just buying candy, we might spend Christmas Eve day making candies as a family--I have a cookbook solely dedicated to candy making. I got that idea after my roommate one semester spent an evening with her sister-in-law and mom (who were visiting) making truffles--and they were very good.
         Then there's that time in between the last present being opened and before the big feast of Christmas Dinner when you just don't know what to do--especially when you outgrow getting toys  and although you may be thrilled to get cashmere socks, they are not very entertaining for very long--not like how a gi joe jeep could be. You could watch "A Christmas Story" with Dad, but by Christmas Day you've already watched it a million times. You might want to watch "Joy to the World" with Oma, but Dad's already watching "A Christmas Story" so the only other option is to go upstairs--but that doesn't work for Oma and besides Mom's in her room getting a much needed nap in prep for Dinner that night (which will be epic on all accounts mind you). And you don't want to go to your own room because no one's there and it's a mess anyway. So I think with Mr Baker and I we'll gather up all the kids after the presents and make ginger bread houses, then Mr Baker can play with the kids and read them Christmas Stories while I take my nap and make my own epic dinner on all accounts. But these are all things that won't be much fun until Poppyseed is like 2, So I don't know what we'll do until then.
       I think Mr Baker is starting his own tradition in that all he wants for Christmas is pie--Pecan Pie being his FAVORITE--it's what he wanted last year and it's what he wants this year and many years on. And he likes that that store bought pecan pies have all that filling and only a few nuts, which I cannot understand because I was so blessed to have my mom's which is a lot of nuts and just the right amount of filling. Then I realized that Mr Baker is a convert to true pie enjoyment--he was not "born under the crust" you could say. But I think in time he will come to appreciate the difference when he realizes he can eat much more of my mom's pie without  "and you shall run and not be weary" not gaining a second meaning in regards to "the Virginia Quickstep"
        I always enjoyed Christmases with my family and I want my kids to also have fond memories. What are some of the things you loved about Christmas when you were a Kid

I love my Poppyseed!

Do you think it will fit?
That's a little coming home bonnet I crocheted just for her

I'm so excited to meet my little girl. With Mr Baker away at Scouts camp I had plenty of time to wish she was already here to have fun girl time with. My mom and I always had good fun together when it was just the two of us while Dad and the boys went off to camp for the week. Even though she'll only be nine months old next year when Mr Baker goes off to camp I fully plan on implementing girls nights with her. She'll be able to share some bites of frozen yogurt with me at twizlberry, and I can paint her toe nails while she naps, or take her to the swimming pool with me, or walks in the park--- but when she can start eating solid foods that's when the real fun will start!--our whole menu of ladies-night treats will explode. I've also enjoyed planning other things for her. I have fond memories of my mom reading "Little House in the Big Woods" while we were sitting in the car at the hospital waiting for my dad's mother, Nana, to come out from physical therapy. Mom and I read a lot of Little House books (including the expanded series) --this is something my brothers never showed much interest in btw. We often planned on doing a little pilgrimage to some of the Little House sites, but perhaps we'll be able to do that with Poppyseed when she's older. I also have been trying to get in the habit of singing some primary songs while doing housework. Why? Because I remember my first day in primary. I remember sitting there during singing time while everyone else was singing and I didn't know the words so I just mouthed at every song. I remember feeling very sheepish about it so maybe if I sing some of the more well known ones around Poppyseed she'll at least know a few. I like this little number a whole lot:

A smile is like the sunshine;

It brightens up the day.

It gives the eye a twinkle----

and chases clouds away.

I think we'll save ones like "A Child's Prayer" for Senior Primary days, the Junior Primary songs can be so much fun. But then again I always enjoyed when I could babysit a baby under the age of two and I could sit in a rocker and sing the more melodic primary songs to them and rock them to sleep--I hope that's something I can find time to do with my little ones. Even when babysitting bigger kids like my old apartment managers-- those guys were 6,4,and 2--I still sang to them and they loved it. I let them choose 2-3 songs and then kissed them good night. I sincerely hope that that is something that becomes a tradition for my kids and that despite all the tiredness and exhausted nerves my kids can count on at least one lullaby from their mother before bed--or perhaps we'll do it as a family and sing to the youngest, I don't know, we'll just find what's right for us, but singing a song together as a family before family prayer might be the thing--we'll see

I don't want to be one of those parents that "makes plans for their kids" such as trying to mold them into doctors or athletes, but I do hope that they have an appreciation for music in their lives. I'll be thrilled if one of them has the talent and passion to pursue an instrument or vocal but I won't get my hopes up on that. However, having a child sit by me and be just as thrilled with a performance of the Nutcracker Ballet as I did with my Oma would truly be a delight to me.

Becoming

Ok 2 things (or people) have caused me to dwell a little on appearances: may friend Katie Walker and an Ordinance Worker at the Temple. I met Katie in a my semester of German. We sat next to each other and became engaged to our husbands that same semester--it wasn't hard to make friends. I always noticed how well kept and pretty her appearance was. Her lovely long, blonde hair was always perfectly and not ostentatiously curled. Her make up and clothes were just as tastefully done. In short her style and appearance are very Grace Kelly: attractive, feminine, and ladylike without trying to turn every head in the room. I was always envious of that I as rushed into class just as it was starting and Miss Katie was sitting so  nicely in her seat studying her verbs. She was always so put together and I was often bare faced with wind swept hair, at least I had a nice outfit on though.

The next is a sister I often see at the Temple. She's older, about my mom's age. She has short black hair that is always "done", natural looking make-up and pearl earrings, with a well tailored and pressed Temple dress and gold watch. She looks so classy and elegant

Dress and grooming standards of our culture have greatly changed over the past 60 years. We hear a lot from church leaders about how revealing clothing has become but I think we too easily forget that they also counsel to not be slovenly in our appearance either. Modesty isn't just about hemlines, but about the tastefulness of your appearance. And when it came to appropriate Sunday dress, this was something I was taught well be my parents. Denim skirts were not allowed for church as they were too casual and I was always expected to wear stockings and a slip under my skirts. That is something I have held true to in college--and I think it makes a difference. I think about how women once would never have dreamed of leaving their house without putting on some make-up, a nice outfit, and fixing their hair and I honestly think that that is how it ought to be. How often do a I go out without any make-up and jeans and a t-shirt or worst yet gym clothes? I make a stark contrast to Mr Baker who every day for class looks so good in his ironed shirt and tie and waxed hair. Or for a party wears a nice collared shirt, with dark wash jeans.  Imagine what kind of impression would be made if Mr Baker was talking to a potential employer and then I pulled up in sweats, no make up, and hair pulled back in a messy bun?
I'm not saying I should enslave myself to appearances or become shallow, fashion obsessed glamazon--but there is a key word here that defines how I think I ought to look at my appearance and that is BECOMING. We don't often use that word anymore, but I think it fits perfectly. I should be putting just enough effort into my daily appearance choosing make-up and clothes that are becoming to me. Make up that enhances my natural beauty, a haircut and style that flatters my face, clothes that make the best of my body shape with tasteful accessories.
I'm not saying I'll be vacuuming the floor in heels and pearls, but it takes just as much effort to put on a nice blouse and nice jeans and shoes for the grocery store as it does an old t-shirt and shorts and flip flops.
Old t-shirts and sweats have their place--such as doing yard work or camping, but there is definitely a way to dress casual and look put together and it's just as easy as dressing casual and looking schlumpy.
So for me I am going through my wardrobe and throwing out old clothes that show their wear or just do me no favors. As for daily house cleaning, I am a big fan of a fresh, clean white t-shirt and jeans. This is appropriate for cleaning the bathroom and doing dishes, can easily be washed to look new (thank you bleach) and the white is flattering to my coloring. But I'm drawing the line there on jersey cotton--the material t-shirts are made with. Although trendy and inexpensive, knit fabrics do me no favors. They have no structure and show off any unwanted curve or contour--plus they show their wear very easily---they are not my friend although they are very comfy.
I've made it my goal to to put a little more effort in emulating the examples of the aforementioned ladies. I want to make my appearance more appealing as I think it ought to be. So this morning I showered, blow-dried my hair, and put on some make up. I opted for a blouse instead of a t-shirt (since I wasn't doing any heavy duty housework today) and put on some lovely aquamarine earrings my parents gave me several Christmases ago.  I've always enjoyed the tradition my parents started when I was 14 of buying me some nice piece of jewelry for birthdays and Christmases and I always looked forward to it, it made me feel like my parents thought of me as a young woman rather than a little girl-- don't think that just because I complained of drowning in a sea of testosterone in this other blog post that my parents never did anything girly for me--I was exaggerating in jest, but humor can be so easily misunderstood--especially when I'm dispensing it (I don't have the talent for clarity). 
This is me trying to look becoming

And this is me mimicking a famous Audrey Hepburn pose:

Don't ask me why I prefer to look so silly in photos--but it's probably because I'm so picky about "looking good" in a photo--my friends Cate and Candice completely understand

can you tell I've enjoyed having Mr. Baker's macbook all to myself this week? Thank you photo both!

"If You Wish to Live and Thrive, Let a Spider Run Alive"

This is a Hobo Spider

Thanks google for providing me with this photo that will surely gross/ freak out some friends and family

They're not native to America but found their way over here sometime in the early 20th century and have spread throughout NorthWest America. And while their bites do require medical attention, they aren't deadly. Now is the time of year when they start "house hunting" for the coming cold weather (ie they start getting into peoples houses. We live in a duplex and my neighbor on the other side of the house found two last night--one in her bedroom and one in her daughters. I have seen none which is odd because our part the house is lower and adjacent to the garage and therefore more likely to be the happy home of little critters like these. I'm not the type of girl to be scared of spiders. Not to long ago a found in 8-legged friend in the living room near my house plants. my thoughts at the time: "Make yourself at home, you can eat all the gnats that cropped up after we bought a bag of potting soil that the parent gnats had laid eggs in before it was bagged in sold". Then I think Mr Baker killed it a later when I told him about it. Although he did have point: spider's carry germs just like any other bug and it's not safe for Poppyseed. So we've reached a compromise: he will kill any spider he finds, and I 'll catch them and set them free outside if I find them. After all spider's eat bugs, people hate bugs= spider's aren't that bad. However I worry about Poppyseed's health and safety should there be any Hobo spiders in the house so today I took a healthy walk to Walmart and looked for some kind of anti-spider stuff--Something I never thought I'd do. I was raised in the South and the bug and pest problem is a million times worse there than it is here. More mosquitos, more ticks, more flies, more gnats, more spiders. My cousin, Mads, told me once about how her husband, Javi, from the LA went inside the house after receiving one mere mosquito bite from sitting outside. We just slap the little suckers when they get close and just ignore the bites if we're over the age of 13. The mosquitos aren't nearly as vicious up here as they are back in "Dixie Land", they practically ask your permission before biting you. Nope bugs aren't a big deal to me out here in Idaho.  So shopping for pest control seems quite unnatural and not my style. I remember standing there in the aisle, my thoughts switching back and forth between "I don't want to be one of those neurotic, helicopter moms" and "Is this going to be chemically safe for me and the baby" ---ironic, I know! Talk about playing both ends of the piano. In the end I decided to actually look up the effects of a hobo spider bite on a baby before buying something. Remember the old adage I used as a title "If you wish to live and thrive, let a spider run alive" I heard it many years ago from my friend Heather Reynold's mom. I looked it up, it's from the middle ages when finding a spider near or on you was considered an omen for good luck--I originally figured it was a sign that the spider would simply eat all the bugs in your house. Well there is some truth to the saying: If you don't mind spiders you won't spend the money on spider traps and repellent. Even so I'm pretty sure we'll still be shelling out the $5-$10 on pest control just to be safe.

When the Cat's Away the Mice Will.....miss the Cat a whole lot and stay up until 2 because they don't like to go to bed without the cat

Mr Baker was hauled off to scouts encampment for a whole week (it's taking me a while to figure out what my next sentence will be). At least I got to spend a few days with him between the end of finals and the beginning of camp. My mom and I always would look forward to scouts camp and having all the men out of the house. I think though that if my mom had had all girls she would have dreaded scouts camp. Well it hasn't been a whole lot of fun without Mr Baker here. Although I've never been one who begrudged doing things alone and I found plenty of things to keep me occupied, I did not like having to go to bed by myself or actually waking up to an alarm rather than having Mr. Baker wake me up after his shower.  Mr Baker felt bad about leaving me all alone and as a result has encouraged me to buy little treats especially when out with friends--something I have tried not to exploit because Poppyseed and I don't need a ton of empty calories and I don't want to reinforce the idea that spending money will make me happy in Mr Baker's mind. (I don't want him to equate his efficiency as a good provider based on how many little luxuries I can purchase). He did get to come home one night for a couple of hours because one of the guys needed to be back in town for work and needed a ride. It was SOOOOOOO NICE to see Mr Baker again and have dinner with him. I got him the special at Teriyaki Express ---his favorite. Then Mr baker freshened up a bit (the camp site doesn't have shower's and Mr Baker is one of those people who has been known to take 2 showers a day on occasion--so I know he really enjoyed that shower).  There was a distinct moist glisten to his eyes when we said good bye and he had to return to camp, which I found quite romantic. I cannot wait for him to come home--I have a special dinner planned for him. I making him my mom's famous chocolate pie and a cranberry ginger ale punch we are both very fond of. Dinner will be light because it's that time of summer when I just have no desire to slave in the kitchen over a heavy meal. I think it is the heat and that certain lassez faire mood of the Summer Session that makes anything beyond smoothies, seafood, and chips and salsa unappealing : so I am thinking chips with pinto dip and a pizza bianca. I've also been cleaning and doing some decorating in the house-I want it to look so smashing for Mr Baker when he gets back. I've been keeping our salsa bottles and washing the labels off them. They have a unique shape reminiscent of old milk bottles. Our bedroom has 2 light fixtures that hang with chain going across the ceiling to the power source. They're very cute and have a lot of potential for decorating. I had the idea of putting little white candles in the jars and suspending them with twine from the chains---I'll post pics later since Mr Baker took the camera to scouts camp. I cannot wait to spend the weekend with my sweetheart !

My new life

26 weeks...yeah I don't know where she all is either, but  by her movements and kick it FEELS like she's sprawled out over my tummy like a blanket even though that's not how babies are. This morning she kicking up close to my rib cage then diagonally down at the left bottom side of my tummy (or perhaps she was doing some kind of punchkick combo) Mr. Baker got to feel her move for the first time.

It is popularly said that a baby changes everything. Well this certainly is the case for me. If you ever read "What to Expect When You're Expecting" did you ever notice that for the first 5 months it listed in the monthly symptoms list "misgivings on pregnancy". I can't say I didn't have them. When I found out I was pregnant I was elated and shocked--I didn't feel pregnant nor did I think we would be so lucky to get pregnant the first time we tried. However not too long afterward doubts began to enter my mind. "Will I enjoy being a mother?" Will I have any time to do the things that I want to do?" "What about my figure, will I get stretchmarks, saggy breasts, and fat?" ---Are you noticing all the pronouns: I,I,I,I
It's not that motherhood is such a hardship but that my attitude at the time would certainly make it so. If I was only concerned about what I was getting out of it I would most definitely be unhappy when the baby came. This wasn't the woman I wanted to be, but I was. I had always dreamed of being so loving and selfless in my role of wife and mother and finding happiness in taking care of my children. It certainly was a wake up call.
I had always been good at following rules all my life, so being a "good mormon" came easily--that is having the appearance of being a "good mormon". It has never been very hard to do all the physical things we are told to do: read scriptures, go to church, pray, dress modestly, pay tithing and all the rest. But actually having Christ at the center of my life and truly being like Him in my heart was a much different story and a struggle in my life that I became aware not too long before college but certainly became a brick wall for me when I got married, one I could not ignore anymore. My doubts about becoming a mother not only revealed to me that not only was this brick wall in my way but that I could not just stand there, I had to climb it, demolish it, dig under it, do something to get passed it.
I've always loved the verses about a virtuous woman in Proverbs 3, it was the woman I wanted to be: she's a good homemaker, productive, gets out of bed early, takes care of her family and others, takes care of her body and appearance, is wise. I thought I was doing all those things: Cleaned house, gardened, cooked, crocheted and sewed (I may be selling things on etsy soon), worked out, completing a well rounded college degree, and even on occasion curled my hair for Mr Baker. But I had to ask myself was I doing all that out of selfless service to my little family or for the personal ego boost that I was doing all those things? And so over these past 6 months I've been working to change me AND my attitude. And little by little I am able to do that. I am so grateful for my little Poppyseed (that was our nickname for Sabrina before we knew whether she was a boy or a girl and its still sticking to her). We here so much about how the example of our little children can influence and change us for the better. I haven't even held her yet, but already she is changing me and I'd much rather be the person I am now because of her than who I was before.
I often like to tell Mr Baker that I literally gave up the world for him, and I did. Before I met him, I was bent on graduating from BYU-Idaho single, going to the UK for graduate school, and traveling through Europe on holidays visiting all those places and paintings I had only seen in all my art history classes, I was going to be a university professors, sophisticated, urbane, the cool, single aunt to all my nieces and nephews buying them the coolest birthday and Christmas gifts from all my travels, then sometime in my 30's after I had done all this then I would marry some successful hottie and have a family.
I'm forever grateful that none of this happened (except for the marrying a successful hottie part--that did happen), because although that plan is perfectly compatible with our society Oprah approved notion of the modern woman, it wasn't making me the KIND of woman I hoped I would be. Yes those would all have been impressive and fun things to do but in the end what were my goals going to make me--more selfish, self-centered, and arrogant.
Yes, Mr Baker and Poppyseed, I gave up the world for you, but you have given me the life I've always wanted.

I take a lot of inspiration from this video of how I want my perspective of motherhood to be. I don't want to see it for what I get out of it but what I give to my family

"God Bless Us, Everyone.."

Well there's no Tiny Tim in this blog post, but meet "Mr. Scrooge"

          .....or so HE says he is. Mr Baker tries not to waste money. And being lowly college students--it's a legitimate effort. So we try not to spend money when we don't have to. Mr. Baker is always encouraging me to make do with what we have and I must say as an artist I can appreciate that challenge since discipline is source for real creativity. These past few weeks I have had plenty of time to exercise "creativity" as the end of the semester and finals have rendered me a "BYU-Idaho" widow. Usually Mr. Baker is able to make it home for lunch and dinner and spend the evenings with me, but with finals and projects (especially the immer demanding Graphic Design class) it's been long days on campus, early mornings, late nights, and me taking food to him because usually if he comes home he has a hard time leaving home to get back to work (yes it is my fault). Anyway he must have been feeling very guilty about all this because the other day he came home to grab a snack and some things for an assignment and then with a big smile said, "Hey sweetheart, would you like to go get yourself a treat?" --as in the self-proclaimed Mr. Scrooge was ACTUALLY suggesting I spend money. I don't want you to think I live with and love a penny-pinching meiser. I certainly am not the best with money so over the past 6 months of marriage I've tried to follow his example and be more frugal, but before I was most definitely one of those people who would spend any extra dollar she had and excuse the purchase of little luxuries. So imagine how proud I was when, after a few moments of reflection, honestly replied, "No I don't need anything, thank you though." But then Mr Baker couldn't help but show a little disappointment. I could tell by the change in his expression that he felt bad. It's got to be hard being a husband--you think you've got some aspect of your wife all figured out--like knowing that a little treat will just make her day, so you get all excited about giving it to her and then she declines. Add pregnancy hormones and I got a little teary eyed when I realized that Mr Baker probably thought this would really make my day. I felt so bad. So I told him when he got his homework done for the day we'd get a treat together. But still I felt really bad for ruining the moment...perhaps I should have nabbed a five-r from his wallet and dashed off to Florence's chocolate store and gorged myself on her delicious chocolates (my FAVORITE!!) leaving Mr Baker to eat his ramen in my dust. On second thought--no I shouldn't --Mr Baker you hold on to that Mr. Lincoln and make a visit to Florence's after I've popped Poppyseed out. I think then I'll deserve some chocolates and Simply Lemonade thank you very much.

Marriage is full of surprises....

...like finding out you married this guy:

No this has nothing to do with a ruminant based bride price, or revelations of beauty, it has everything to do with garage sales though. Remember how shrewd a trader Johnny Lingo was purported to be? Well meet my husband, Mr Baker; the modern day Johnny Lingo:

Yes, I did actually catch him eating a french fry with chopsticks, more on that in another blog.

Mr Baker and I happened to go Garage Sale-ing this past Saturday to start stocking up on baby clothes for the Bubala. I see onesies going for $ 0.50 a pop and I'm like "that's half as much as the DI, SWEET and I start nabbing them up. Mr Baker had strongly encouraged me to haggle down prices. So I see a box with plenty of like new, plain, white, newborn onesies and offer the woman running the show $5 for the whole box (with 24 onesies in them that's about $.20 a onesie) She gladly accepted the deal and I beamed with pride as I made my way over to Mr. Baker to show what a good little haggler I was. At first he wasn't very impressed and thought I could have got much lower. However this changed after I counted out all the onesies for him. Apparently he thought I had purchased only a handful but when he saw I got more than half off the original asking price he was well pleased. At another garage sale I picked out about five baby clothes items. Mr. Baker then prodded me to start my bid at $.25 which I did expecting I'd later be forking out at least two more quarters, but to my astonishment the woman took the deal. Mr Baker's secret is simply get a group of items in some miscellaneous container and then offer lower than asking price--and it works! At first I was squeamish and embarrassed to be so petty but once I got the hang of it I realized it's kind of like flirty with a cute guy--what have you got to lose?, if he's not interested move on to another guy no big deal and if he is well then you've got a date (or in my case, a husband who doubles as Johnny Lingo Saturday mornings in the Summer). In the end we came home after spending $12.25 at sales and our treasures included
1 infant bath
1 high chair
1 baby carrier cover
1 baby bunting wrap
39 pairs of baby socks
24 pairs of newborn white onesies
1 baby blanket
1 bib
12 cloth diapers with covers
2 pairs of baby stockings
4 pairs of little bloomers
4 baby hats
4 dresses
10 sleepers ranging in sizes from 0-9 mos
8 pairs of baby pant 0-9 mos
23 baby tops 0-9 mos

HELLO! That's including my wopping $5 for 24 onesies! Considering everything else I got for another $7.25, I was less impressed with my initial bargain as well--I'll know better next time

Bring on the Pink! Poppyseed is going to need it come Oct 23, 2011

Had a doctor's appointment yesterday with ultrasound and confirmed that we are indeed having a baby GIRL!!!

I am so thrilled about that-- let's face it, with 3 brothers and 3 brothers-in-law and no sisters, the appeal of a baby boy is somewhat wanting--do I really need any more testosterone in my life? Here are some pics from the ultrasound

She spent most of the ultrasound with her fist drawn up to her face like a little boxer or her arms crossed over her face, so good face shots were hard to come by

The technician said this was really cute because she was sucking on her lower lip

This one makes it look like she's got Andrew's nose and chin, but who's to say  until she's here (PLEASE have Andrew's chin!)

So happy she's a she

We were told by a very competent and confident ultra-sound technician at 15 weeks that we were having a girl. She's been doing ultrasounds for 30 years and promised us a baby outfit if she was wrong--a promise she had been making to expectant mothers for three years without buying a single outfit. It was very happy news to me but I was still holding my breath until yesterday because 15 weeks was rather early. I remember getting ready the morning of that 15 week ultrasound and realizing that if I found out we were having a boy, I honestly don't think I'd be as happy about being pregnant anymore lol--sounds horrible, but I cannot deny that is what true. Lying on the bed for my 20 week ultrasound, I said a silent prayer that Heavenly Father would help me be just as excited and happy for a boy as I would be for a girl. I just want two little girls and then He can send me all the little boys He wants. I've boiled football mouth guards, been forced to watch Baywatch, JAG, and Walker Texas Ranger, I've been made to turn off a Jane Austen movie in favor of a bowl game, can quote First Knight, Mr. Deeds, The Waterboy, and I cry just thinking about the end of Rudy. I've received nerf guns and remote control helicopters as Christmas gifts simply because my brothers got them. Mine was the only Barbie world where there were enough men to go around thanks to a surplus of GI Joes (however Barbie toted the kids around in a desert storm tan military jeep), I've sat on so many cold metal bleachers for football games that my bum is still permafrost. I had to buy the loudest most girlie colored socks just to insure that my brothers wouldn't take them and leave me those unstylish to the knee tube socks. I've had my shirts used as impromptu snot rags (thanks Eric), my makeup used as war paint (thanks Sam and kyle) and my cat dipped in a toilet and sent flying down the stairs in a plastic cooler (thanks again Sam and Kyle). And do you know how some families have the tradition of a "family gift" at Christmas time? Ours mainly consisted of a new video game consul. You should have been there--every year the boys would hoot and holler and gleefully squeal as they unwrapped yet another advancement in gaming delight, and my dad would happily advise, "Now remember it's for everybody" --and me in my head thinking "Who are you kidding, buster, it's for them and you KNOW it!" They only games I ever played were pokemon stadium and guitar hero. Let's not even get into what a mess they made of Mr. Baker's car at our wedding reception. My brother's thought I was a nutcase until they had their first girlfriends and realized I was just being female. Mr. Baker expressed remorse over his not putting the seat down---to which I assured him his just putting it up was all I needed. And I can bear the little whiskers on the sink from his electric shaver some days when he's running late because its not the daily morning lugi in the sink. I've been forced to endure pubescent boys ever shirtless whilst the mere sight of me in a tanktop going down to the laundry room for a shirt was met with protestations to rival the french revolution. There was never a want for any Manchester Football memorabilia. Do you know what it's like to find remnants of Capt D's fish in the couch cushions and not be able to remember the last time your family had Capt D's? You want to talk legos?--legos are the reason I have high arches and never struggled with walking in heels. By the time I went to college I had lost significant amount of smelling capacity thanks to sharing a bathroom with three boys. Do you know what it is like to have your snuggly flannel sheets, memory foam mattress top, pillow and mattress ripped to shreds by two lab/beagle mix puppies? At least I had my own room (most of the time) and always got front seat in Dad's van, and spared large portions of yard work and manual labor cause I was a girl haha.  I WANT TO BRAID HAIR AND PUT A PINK BOW IN IT FOR PETE'S SAKE! (But really Mom and Dad I'm embellishing the indignation for dramatic effect, I wouldn't want you to feel you failed as parents or anything.)

PS I love you Eric, Sam, and Kyle and wouldn't trade you in for anything,
love Mrs Baker

Tschuss!

...And Dine We Must

The last potential day for frost passed on Monday, so this week housecleaning has taken a backseat to garden planting and since we have a shorter growing season every day counts so now most of my house resembles this:

However, though I may be able to let the house go, there is one thing that I can do nothing about : Herr Baker hat immer ja hunger. So, lets clear and clean off about 1 1/2 sg foot of counter space and make something to eat. (No I did not use the above pictured table with all the dirty pots and pans so you know)
My inspiration came from the $0.93 26 oz can of Hunt's tomato sauce which I bought on sale this morning at Broulim's. Originally Mr. Baker and I went there to capitalize on the 5 for $20.00 meat sale going on there--that is 5 packages of certain marked meats for $20. The catch is that on any given day we can go to Albie's (Albertsons) and buy pork or $1.99 per lb. So some basic math tells you that a 5 items of $20 = $4 an item. In order for this sale to be to our advantage we have to find  5 packages of meat that are at least 2 lbs a piece. Sadly this was not the case we found at Broulims. I was disappointed at the prospect of not scoring some fresh beef, but what was worse was seeing  that sad, dejected look on Mr. Baker's face as we walked from the meat section to pick up some milk. He was so excited about this sale--the man loves a bargain and he loves meat. So it was my hope to make him a smashing lunch before he went off to work and then make him feel better. So here it goes, Today I made Spicy beef spinach Ravioli
I started with this lovely can of beef chunks

Thank you Mr. Baker's parents!

When I opened my first can of beef chunks from a box provided by my inlaws, I was more than skeptical--I was grossed out --canned meat?  But then I got over it as it didn't taste bad at all an is really quite versatile. Since it's from the LDS Church cannery you know it will be good quality. Well I started with this lovely gadget:

To get the beef into a ground beef consistency as follows:

There's just one problem that I could have avoided if I thought it through--the meat's already cooked, so when I mixed it up with the other ingredients it became more of a beef pate. This gave the resulting ravioli filling a "Chef Boyardiee" texture, which--although delightful to some--was not what I was planning.

 Looking back I would have simply reheated the beef chunks in a skillet with olive oil.
Next I chopped up some spinach--a helpful tip: spinach is much easier to chop up when frozen, so I always store my spinach in the freezer unless I plan to use it raw.

Bring on the Spice! Chopped up a few of the these bad boys and mixed it all in with some Basil, garlic and other spices

I thought that a hint of mushroom would also serve me well

I then added half a can of cream of mushroom, some olive oil and some of the beef juice from the can. In the end, I would have rather used real mushroom for a more potent flavor, but it didn't detract from the overall taste.
I mixed it all up and began to feel somewhat dubious that the results would be as palatable as I hoped, but perhaps it was my inner picky eater rearing it's ugly head from the depths I have tried to squelch it to. You'll have to decide for yourself if it looks like the makings of pure yumminess or bleh!

I promise this tastes good in the end

At this point I began making the pasta for the ravioli. I used a simply recipe of flour, water, and egg like any of the many you can find on the internet. I was running behind schedule and had to get it all made and on the table by 1:30 before Mr. Baker went off to work so I didn't take the time to snap a few pictures. After kneading and rolling out the dough I placed it on some wonderful pieces of plastic known as dough presses which Mr. Baker and I snagged at DI for  $0.50 a pop--perfect for making 3 different sizes of filled pastry or pasta. I scooped a spoonful or so of filling inside then folded the press over. Meanwhile, Mr Baker set water to boil so it was ready to go as soon as I was ready with the first batch of raviolis. I cooked the ravioli for about 3 minutes or so then scooped them into a colander to drain. After heating up some pasta sauce and plating the lovely results were as follows:

One thing I would have liked to have added was some provolone or mozzarella cheese slices to top, but Mr. Baker didn't seem to mind

Here's wind up...

...And the pitch...

...AND IT'S A HOMERUN!!!

Mr. Baker inhaled these puppies and went back for more! I had to gingerly remind him to save some for me as I was in the middle of finishing up the last of the batch. After sending him off to work, I had my taste of them. The taste was great, albeit I wasn't happy about the texture, c'est la vie

Tschuss!

That Clumsy ole' Pregnant Woman

So last week I recommenced my usual pre-pregnancy workout routine: exercise every day at six--> Mon, Wed, Fri, Sat= Jog, Tues, Thurs= fitness class. Followed by a postwork out smoothie (Today's was Coconut Pumpkin--recipe to follow post :]  ). I was surprised to find that I didn't feel as sluggish and out of shape as I expected to--the internet suggests that that may be a result of my increased blood volume and lung capacity from pregnancy. In fact I could almost get back to my usual rate easily. I've also found that the "exercise high" after a work out is also much more noticeable--I feel on top of the world after each workout. But it's also helping with regulating some of my hormonal symptoms of pregnancy--remember how my easy embarrassment issues. This is an important point as you'll see in my little anecdote from fitness class. Today I did step aerobics, a delightful method of exercise probably invented by some woman who dreamed of being a dancer, but only succeeded as a  high school cheerleader, and lived in a ranch home with a one step difference between two areas of the house. Anyway, while in the middle of doing a "T" step, my left foot slipped on the edge and I fell back straight on my bum, the end of a five pound, metal dumbbell weight breaking my fall. This was one of those moments I was particularly grateful to be the possessor of the legendary "Barker Bum"--so named for the prevalence of ample bums in the Barker side of my family.
I was also particularly amused that this little accident happened just as the instructor was yelling the ubiquitous, "How's everybody doing?" --to which I could laugh/reply "Great!"
Seriously though, it sounds worse than it was and I got right back up on my platform and carried on. I couldn't even feel it 3 minutes later--I wasn't kidding about that Barker bum ;)

Coconut Pumpkin Smoothie
4 tbsp canned pumpkin
1/4 -1/2 tsp imitation coconut extract
1 1/2 tbsp powder coffee creamer
dash or two cinnamon
1 cup skim milk
1/4-1/2 tsp vanilla
Honey to sweeten
Ice cubes
~Blend and enjoy :)